Well for starters, don’t call us “stuffies” yeah? Faux Furries? Toys? Sentient Teddy Bears?
(The last one is okay with me)
Yes, hello. My name is Jeb and I am a sentient teddy bear of London, England (rather than London, USA, which I hear is rubbish).
There are many things in my tiny little magnificent life that get on my wick, and that’s ignorance of our tiny little magnificent plight. The plight of bears like myself not getting an even hearing out there, specifically, on the internet.
There’s plenty of my kind out there building our own little web presence, snuggling into comfy corners, enlightening the world in our quest for pork pies and beer (well, those are my specialities at least). Those in power like to cut us off though.
Facebook is a prime example. You can have profiles for your little human babies, your cats, your dogs and even your dirty parrots or whatever breed of bird you care to flap on about. But teddy bears?
“Fuck ‘em!” Says Facebook. “Fuck ‘em in their stupid cloth ear’oles. We see a bear profile, we’ll wipe the fucker!”
Which, to me, seems a little harsh. What they do is every so often go through obviously not-human profiles and hit Delete. WHY?
It’s not enough that most of us don’t reach higher than your kneecaps and many see us as cushions or objects to throw across the room. This is the 21st Century, for Rupert’s sake! Freedom of speech, freedom to express oneself and freedom to entertain those that want to be entertained by us. What other allegedly “social” networks operate under the same principles? A name-and-shame seems to be in order. And then a very steiff letter to the Prime Minister.
Rumours of a Facebook-like cull on Twitter reached my old glass beads recently and that just will not do. If anyone can verify this I’d be grateful.
I hope that if you’re reading this that you support us lot, support freedom for the stuffed toy animal to represent themselves on the internet, love me and most importantly… lend me enough money for a pint or two of beer tomorrow.
This has been my little rant on this matter.
I can’t see if you can leave comments on this site, so please do email me at: email@example.com if you’d like to, and I hope that you do.